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Old 04-26-2007, 09:40 AM    (permalink
yno88
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Default Suzy Kolber strips for Girls Gone Wild!

Alright bro, you had it nailed last year. You took some crap for it from a lot of us, but in the end you had it right.

So I pose the question: Who is it this year?
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Old 04-26-2007, 06:12 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by yno88 View Post
Alright bro, you had it nailed last year. You took some crap for it from a lot of us, but in the end you had it right.

So I pose the question: Who is it this year?
Check the Cowboys Fan's predict our draft...he is one of the first posts in there..and that is his projected mock...however he might change it before draft day.

Last year was easy...Parcells is a lot easier to predict because of his closeness with a couple of agents like Jimmy Sexton..almost a dead give away on a parcells type player.
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Old 04-26-2007, 07:16 PM    (permalink
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Alright bro, you had it nailed last year. You took some crap for it from a lot of us, but in the end you had it right.

So I pose the question: Who is it this year?
Well last year, there were a lot of telling signs with Parcells - the type of players he likes, the position of need, the fact that he shared the same agent as Carp and his history of acquiring players under Jimmy Sexton, the strong likelihood that Carp would be on the clock and the fact that SOLB was the last position in the front 7 where Parcells didn't hand pick the starter (wanting to leave his stamp and legacy on Dallas' 3-4 makeover).

This year is really difficult to project because Jerry likes to be so cute. There's a 50% chance we call him God and there's a 50% chance we call him the Devil.

He will try like the dickens to move up or move down in the draft and I say the odds of something actually happening is at about 30%. ...and with that that percentage in mind, here is how I foresee the draft unfolding...

The Draft:

OAK will draft Calvin Johnson. Their fans will cheer like no other! But, Old Man Davis has a way of frustrating his fans like no other... his style is unorthodox, his methods are madness. He wants to see what other teams will offer the Raiders after he's been selected. The cost for CJ will be at it's peak and more teams want CJ than JR or BQ.

Option 1: Davis' main desire is Brady Quinn, but he won't tell anyone except ATL, knowing ATL has the most to offer in terms of draft picks to get CJ. If Quinn falls to ATL at 8, a deal will strike. Quinn will end up in Silver and Black and CJ will be a Dirty Bird and OAK will have a boatload of picks.

Option 2: Tampa also desperately wants CJ. They may try to foil Davis' plans and draft Quinn. I'll explain later.

OAK PICK: Calvin Johnson


DET will flirt with drafting Joe Thomas to try to force ARZ to trade up. They were really hoping CJ would be on the board, but OAK prevented that. Matt Millen won't be able to bully this ARZ staff. Wisenhunt will have no part of it. They are prepared to take DE if DET selects Thomas. Detroit fans, lose again. DET is forced to take Gaines Adams a little higher than they wanted.

DET PICK: Gaines Adams


CLE is in a bind. Owner wants Russell, Coaching staff wants Quinn. Owner always wins. They select Russell for all the wrong reasons and their losing tradition continues. No surprise.

CLE PICK: Jamarcus Russell


The TAM war room is now going bezerk. They wanted CJ badly. They are on the phone with OAK trying to see if there is a player they could take and offer a sweet deal. Davis isn't saying. He knows ATL has more ammo to offer than TAM. Frustrated as hell the staff debates whether to risk drafting Quinn to try to foil any potential deal OAK may have with a team picking after them. As time nearly expires, Jon Gruden tells the staff to shut up and walks up to the podium himself.

Goddell reaches for Gruden's hand and the card reads, Defensive Tackle Amobi Okoye, University of Louisville.

TAM PICK: Amobi Okoye


ARZ wastes no time fooling around.

ARZ PICK: Joe Thomas


WAS always tries to go for glitz and glamour in a city known for bums and crime. To no avail, one last call is made to CHI to see if they will come down on their trade demands for Briggs, hoping to add picks.

WAS "Glitz & Glamour" PICK: Laron Landry


MIN wanted to offer a trade to WAS but time expired. Anyone surprised? LOL! No seriously, they are fine as their #1 need is at WR anyways. They are hoping that someone with value will fall into their laps and they can trade down, pick up extra picks and get a better value for WR later. Landry would be the selection if no trades were worth it. Now they have Quinn and Peterson sitting there with the highest value. They sit there trying to see if anyone will call... no one does.... so they start thinking of teams they should call... THEN... with 3 minutes to go...

*RING RING*

In his 'ole Texas accent Mr. Jerry Jones says, "We wuant Adriuun Peederrsun." Jerry waits till the last minute because he was hoping he could get AD at picks 10-13. But he has no clue that ATL is hoping for Brady Quinn to fall and assumes that ATL will snatch AD up.

The Minnesota War Room goes scrambling! They try to hammer out a deal as fast as they can using their draft value chart and looking up what picks Dallas has. Tick Tock, Tick Tock... Jerry offers Julius. MIN doesn't want him. Tick Tock, Tick Tock... They discuss picks... 3 - 2 - 1... Chris Berman is going nuts on the podium, Suzy Kolber can't take the heat and starts taking off her jacket... and Mel Kiper is literally pulling out his hair!

*A THREE PEAT FOR MINNESOTA AS TIME RUNS OUT*

ATL faster than you can say Dirty Bird, has their card up to Roger Goddell. The Atlanta Falcons select Quarterback, Brady Quinn from Notre Dame University...

...We have a trade to announce!

Everyone and their mom thinks this trade announcement has to do with whatever Minnesota is doing...

The Atlanta Falcons make a trade with the Oakland Raiders. The crowd goes WILD! Berman falls over his chair backwards on live air, Kiper is saying, "I knew this all along"... and Suzy Kolber is not pulling off a strip tease as the GIRLS GONE WILD TV Crew is doing an NFL Draft Special.

Commission Goddell announces the trade sending Calvin Johnson to ATL in exchange for Brady Quinn and a boatload of picks.


Back to MIN... In a flashback in history to 2003, when Jerry Jones pulled a similar act to get his grubby hands on Roy Williams...

MIN and DAL finally agree to deal. DAL sends MIN their 1st, 3rd and Bradie James in exchange for Adrian Peterson.

DAL via MIN PICK: Adrian Peterson

Behind "The Trade"
Why MIN would do it...
The value of MIN's pick is 1500 points. Our 22 pick is at 780. Our 3rd round pick this year is valued at 155. Bradie James is in his prime and is an established LB in the league. The Vikes have concerns at LB and James fits MIN's desires moreso than Julius (as they are ok at RB, but were interested in Patrick Willis). If Lance Briggs can hold value to the 6th pick of the draft alone, Bradie can pick up the slack in this deal. This deal also allows MIN to draft a top WR at 22 at great value and they get an additional 3rd.

Why DAL would do it...
Jerry wants to make a splash. He always wants to make a splash. No bigger one (and riskier one) than AD. AD is a Hometown hero and Jerry knows how to cash that in, in the Marketing Dept. Bradie James is expendable. Bobby Carpenter now steps into the starting line up at ILB.


There you have it folks. Draft day drama, yours courtesy of D-Unit. Oh no... he just went 3rd person!

That's seriously my take on the draft this year. Watch it unfold... but uh... don't hold your hopes up for Suzy Kolber pulling a strip tease! LOL!















Assuming we stay at 22, I will have to project Dwayne Bowe.
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Old 04-26-2007, 07:26 PM    (permalink
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Originally Posted by D-Unit View Post
Well last year, there were a lot of telling signs with Parcells - the type of players he likes, the position of need, the fact that he shared the same agent as Carp and his history of acquiring players under Jimmy Sexton, the strong likelihood that Carp would be on the clock and the fact that SOLB was the last position in the front 7 where Parcells didn't hand pick the starter (wanting to leave his stamp and legacy on Dallas' 3-4 makeover).

This year is really difficult to project because Jerry likes to be so cute. There's a 50% chance we call him God and there's a 50% chance we call him the Devil.

He will try like the dickens to move up or move down in the draft and I say the odds of something actually happening is at about 30%. ...and with that that percentage in mind, here is how I foresee the draft unfolding...

The Draft:

OAK will draft Calvin Johnson. Their fans will cheer like no other! But, Old Man Davis has a way of frustrating his fans like no other... his style is unorthodox, his methods are madness. He wants to see what other teams will offer the Raiders after he's been selected. The cost for CJ will be at it's peak and more teams want CJ than JR or BQ.

Option 1: Davis' main desire is Brady Quinn, but he won't tell anyone except ATL, knowing ATL has the most to offer in terms of draft picks to get CJ. If Quinn falls to ATL at 8, a deal will strike. Quinn will end up in Silver and Black and CJ will be a Dirty Bird and OAK will have a boatload of picks.

Option 2: Tampa also desperately wants CJ. They may try to foil Davis' plans and draft Quinn. I'll explain later.

OAK PICK: Calvin Johnson


DET will flirt with drafting Joe Thomas to try to force ARZ to trade up. They were really hoping CJ would be on the board, but OAK prevented that. Matt Millen won't be able to bully this ARZ staff. Wisenhunt will have no part of it. They are prepared to take DE if DET selects Thomas. Detroit fans, lose again. DET is forced to take Gaines Adams a little higher than they wanted.

DET PICK: Gaines Adams


CLE is in a bind. Owner wants Russell, Coaching staff wants Quinn. Owner always wins. They select Russell for all the wrong reasons and their losing tradition continues. No surprise.

CLE PICK: Jamarcus Russell


The TAM war room is now going bezerk. They wanted CJ badly. They are on the phone with OAK trying to see if there is a player they could take and offer a sweet deal. Davis isn't saying. He knows ATL has more ammo to offer than TAM. Frustrated as hell the staff debates whether to risk drafting Quinn to try to foil any potential deal OAK may have with a team picking after them. As time nearly expires, Jon Gruden tells the staff to shut up and walks up to the podium himself.

Goddell reaches for Gruden's hand and the card reads, Defensive Tackle Amobi Okoye, University of Louisville.

TAM PICK: Amobi Okoye


ARZ wastes no time fooling around.

ARZ PICK: Joe Thomas


WAS always tries to go for glitz and glamour in a city known for bums and crime. To no avail, one last call is made to CHI to see if they will come down on their trade demands for Briggs, hoping to add picks.

WAS "Glitz & Glamour" PICK: Laron Landry


MIN wanted to offer a trade to WAS but time expired. Anyone surprised? LOL! No seriously, they are fine as their #1 need is at WR anyways. They are hoping that someone with value will fall into their laps and they can trade down, pick up extra picks and get a better value for WR later. Landry would be the selection if no trades were worth it. Now they have Quinn and Peterson sitting there with the highest value. They sit there trying to see if anyone will call... no one does.... so they start thinking of teams they should call... THEN... with 3 minutes to go...

*RING RING*

In his 'ole Texas accent Mr. Jerry Jones says, "We wuant Adriuun Peederrsun." Jerry waits till the last minute because he was hoping he could get AD at picks 10-13. But he has no clue that ATL is hoping for Brady Quinn to fall and assumes that ATL will snatch AD up.

The Minnesota War Room goes scrambling! They try to hammer out a deal as fast as they can using their draft value chart and looking up what picks Dallas has. Tick Tock, Tick Tock... Jerry offers Julius. MIN doesn't want him. Tick Tock, Tick Tock... They discuss picks... 3 - 2 - 1... Chris Berman is going nuts on the podium, Suzy Kolber can't take the heat and starts taking off her jacket... and Mel Kiper is literally pulling out his hair!

*A THREE PEAT FOR MINNESOTA AS TIME RUNS OUT*

ATL faster than you can say Dirty Bird, has their card up to Roger Goddell. The Atlanta Falcons select Quarterback, Brady Quinn from Notre Dame University...

...We have a trade to announce!

Everyone and their mom thinks this trade announcement has to do with whatever Minnesota is doing...

The Atlanta Falcons make a trade with the Oakland Raiders. The crowd goes WILD! Berman falls over his chair backwards on live air, Kiper is saying, "I knew this all along"... and Suzy Kolber is not pulling off a strip tease as the GIRLS GONE WILD TV Crew is doing an NFL Draft Special.

Commission Goddell announces the trade sending Calvin Johnson to ATL in exchange for Brady Quinn and a boatload of picks.


Back to MIN... In a flashback in history to 2003, when Jerry Jones pulled a similar act to get his grubby hands on Roy Williams...

MIN and DAL finally agree to deal. DAL sends MIN their 1st, 3rd and Bradie James in exchange for Adrian Peterson.

DAL via MIN PICK: Adrian Peterson

Behind "The Trade"
Why MIN would do it...
The value of MIN's pick is 1500 points. Our 22 pick is at 780. Our 3rd round pick this year is valued at 155. Bradie James is in his prime and is an established LB in the league. The Vikes have concerns at LB and James fits MIN's desires moreso than Julius (as they are ok at RB, but were interested in Patrick Willis). If Lance Briggs can hold value to the 6th pick of the draft alone, Bradie can pick up the slack in this deal. This deal also allows MIN to draft a top WR at 22 at great value and they get an additional 3rd.

Why DAL would do it...
Jerry wants to make a splash. He always wants to make a splash. No bigger one (and riskier one) than AD. AD is a Hometown hero and Jerry knows how to cash that in, in the Marketing Dept. Bradie James is expendable. Bobby Carpenter now steps into the starting line up at ILB.


There you have it folks. Draft day drama, yours courtesy of D-Unit. Oh no... he just went 3rd person!

That's seriously my take on the draft this year. Watch it unfold... but uh... don't hold your hopes up for Suzy Kolber pulling a strip tease! LOL!















Assuming we stay at 22, I will have to project Dwayne Bowe.
Wow that Cowboys-Vikings trade is even crazier than my predicted Buffalo-Cowboys trade for AP (1st, 2nd, and Julius Jones, if AP is there).
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Old 04-26-2007, 07:28 PM    (permalink
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To D Unit

You are my hero!

By the way, I could actually see this happening. I cant beleive I am typing this, but I think there will be a lot of trades this year. I said this several weeks ago. No one agreed with me, but I see a lot of trades happening. It will be fun. Im excited!!!
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Old 04-26-2007, 08:09 PM    (permalink
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D I am offended by your characterization of Jerrah Jones and his accent.
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Old 04-26-2007, 08:19 PM    (permalink
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D I am offended by your characterization of Jerrah Jones and his accent.
I'm sure Suzy can cheer you up. :D

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Old 04-26-2007, 09:31 PM    (permalink
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Suzy....I wanna kisssss you.


Struggling....
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I just wanna warn you guys not to take TNew41 too seriously. He's....let's just say, special. He's fairly harmless, though. He just needs several years of seasoning before he tries to make any more points, is all.
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Old 04-26-2007, 09:47 PM    (permalink
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Suzy....I wanna kisssss you.


Struggling....
Nice one Mr. Namath. :D

Last edited by D-Unit : 04-26-2007 at 10:15 PM.
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Old 04-26-2007, 09:48 PM    (permalink
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It had to be the funniest sports interview of all time.
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I just wanna warn you guys not to take TNew41 too seriously. He's....let's just say, special. He's fairly harmless, though. He just needs several years of seasoning before he tries to make any more points, is all.
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Old 04-26-2007, 11:42 PM    (permalink
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It had to be the funniest sports interview of all time.
For you LSU:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=og2Nj6hFGF4

Shameful.
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:05 AM    (permalink
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I don't see to many people doubting my madness... weird...
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:10 AM    (permalink
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I could totally dig this scenario. Absolutely.
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:16 AM    (permalink
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I think somebody spiked your pineapple juice :)
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:17 AM    (permalink
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I think somebody spiked your pineapple juice :)
No silly, it's his poi.
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:18 AM    (permalink
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I think somebody spiked your pineapple juice :)
How about I give you a taste of my Hawaiian Punch!
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:19 AM    (permalink
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No silly, it's his poi.
POI > Calvin Johnson
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:21 AM    (permalink
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That is very interesting, something that is a real possibiltity. ATL takes Quinn, having agreed on a trade w/ Radiers for pretty much all of their day 1 picks. Good stuff. I feel like this year is a lot less certain than years past, but i could be wrong.
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:23 AM    (permalink
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I would kill someone if Al Davis decided CJ should be the pick.. That would screw us over badly.. I think I would cry. And then I would cry more if we took Gaines Adams at #2.
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:27 AM    (permalink
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I would kill someone if Al Davis decided CJ should be the pick.. That would screw us over badly.. I think I would cry. And then I would cry more if we took Gaines Adams at #2.
Gaines Adams is like a one armed, peg leg Mario Williams.

DEEEE-TROIT FOOOOOOOOT-BAAAALLL!!!!! hahahaha!
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:33 AM    (permalink
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I just dont see the raiders taking CJ, they need a QB badly and Al Davis will draft Russell imo. I wouldnt be mad with the Okoye pick though.
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:38 AM    (permalink
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I just dont see the raiders taking CJ, they need a QB badly and Al Davis will draft Russell imo. I wouldnt be mad with the Okoye pick though.
Hate to barge in here, but I understand that common belief says that the Raiders need a QB so the Raiders take a QB. But Al Davis has bucked that so many times I don't think that we can just expect him to fall in line this year. It is very possible Davis goes against popular belief once again.

Now I'm not saying it is certain to happen, but I am saying we cannot be certain Russell is the pick. Especially considering that Kiffin may very well like Quinn more, so if he does go QB, we may see Brady instead of Russell.
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:46 AM    (permalink
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How about I give you a taste of my Hawaiian Punch!
oh i love that stuff, fruit juicy red all the way
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:50 AM    (permalink
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POI > Calvin Johnson
QFT

Btw, me and you have been the greatest Marshawn Lynch's fans on this board. I think there's a very very good chance he falls to Tennessee, and this is the trade I think Jerry should make. Right in front of the Giants to create the most badass RB duo in the league.
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:51 AM    (permalink
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oh i love that stuff, fruit juicy red all the way
+ REP coming your way!!!
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