Welp! Here we are again. The Cincinnati Bengals are underachieving once again. This time it is not because of an injury to star QB Joe Burrow. Quite the opposite in fact. Burrow is having one of the best seasons of his NFL career. So, is WR Ja’Marr Chase.
Cincinnati’s problems are rotten to the core. No matter how many layers of the onion you peel back, you just find more rot. So, how do we fix it? Let’s peel some of the layers back, shall we?
ROTTEN AT THE CORE
In this case, it is quite simple. The Cincinnati Bengals are a family-run business whose only revenue comes from inheriting an NFL team from the familial patriarch, Paul Brown. Mike Brown is a notorious penny-pincher throughout league circles. That is not to say that the team will not spend big bucks. They just won’t do it on multiple players at the same time. Instead often try to sign multiple bargain bin players to try to supplant the production of the star player they should have just paid. (See Jessie Bates, D.J. Reader, soon-to-be Tee Higgins, etc.)
G.M. YES MAN AND WHERE ARE THE SCOUTS?!
Morning ramblings from a mad man pic.twitter.com/3LFl0gjiPD
— Goodberry (@JoeGoodberry) November 8, 2024
My good friend Joe Goodberry laid it out perfectly a couple of weeks ago. When you have ownership like this you need a yes man to pull the trigger. Duke Tobin is that yes man. The Brown family will never spend the guaranteed cash needed to keep their free agents nor be able to sign the team-changing personnel required. Oh look, your defense is hot garbage and plenty of quality pieces are available at the trade deadline. Let’s trade a pick for a running back who has made zero impact in two games.
So that puts undo pressure on nailing every draft. Which is never going to happen. Especially when you famously have the smallest scouting department in the NFL. Forcing your coaches to do the bulk of the work in the offseason. WHY?! It makes zero freaking sense to do it this way.
COACHING STAFF GOTS TO GO
Zac Taylor would have never been given this leash with 31 other franchises. Lou Anarumo as defensive coordinator has run its course. Frank Pollock has done jack shit to develop any of the offensive linemen. Special teams coach Darrin Simmons is the only coach who isn’t completely done. But even he has seen a complete regression in kicker Evan McPherson.
WASTING BURROW AND CHASE
I am just going to leave this here:
This is just insane. pic.twitter.com/jhrahXs9qk
— WINCINNATI (@WINCINNATI_) November 18, 2024
Also, hat tip to my guy BengalsBrews for his inspiration for this rant:
The list of changes they need gets longer and longer.
– Bigger scouting department
– An actual GM and less family involvement
– At minimum a new Defensive Coordinator and Offensive Line coach and probably a complete staff change
– Upgrade the pass rush and especially the…
— Bengals & Brews (@BengalsBrews) November 18, 2024
CAN WE GET A FRESH ONION?
Well, I guess the main way to fix it to make everyone happy would be some mega-rich private equity firm dickhole from the Cincinnati area will come along and buy the team for an insane amount of money. And then treat it like a real team.
But this river crying is not why you clicked here. You wanted a Cincinnati Bengals 7-round mock draft, so let’s proceed with that.
Cincinnati Bengals 2025 Mock Draft – 1.0
TEAM NEEDS
Not in any particular order:
RB 1B, WR2, Swing Tackle, (2) starting guards, Impact pass rusher, Impact Interior Defensive pass rush, CB1, CB depth, (2) starting safeties, maybe LB depth.
1-11: Tetairoa McMillan, WR, Arizona
I wasn’t expecting to go wide receiver in the first round, but I could not pass up McMillan. The Arizona pass catcher is tremendous with the ball in his hands. He can make big plays downfield and is an excellent route runner. At 6’4″, he has great size and can run. Tee Higgins is almost assuredly gone. Andrei Iosivas has not shown he can handle the #2 role. Jermaine Burton clearly has issues with being trusted. Also, let us not rule out the Bengals screwing Ja’Marr Chase on a long-term contract.
2-42: Nick Emmanwori, S, South Carolina
The Cincinnati Bengals lack any kind of playmaker at the safety position. Geno Stone and Vonn Bell are washed. Jordan Battle has been hit or miss in the snaps he has played. Enter Nick Emmanwori. The big framed safety (6’4″ 218) has playmaking range and tremendous ball skills. Emmanwori has 153 career solo tackles, 6 interceptions, and 11 PBUs (to date).
3-75: Jordan Burch, EDGE/DL, Oregon
Burch has finally started to play up to his potential as a five-star recruit. He started his career as a Gamecock before taking that sweet NIL money in Oregon. Burch has dealt with some injuries this year but he is averaging nearly one sack per game. He has the size and skill set to be both an outside rusher and an interior pass rusher.
4-111: Anthony Belton, OT, NC State
Belton has been around the block a few times as he is playing in his seventh collegiate season. He has been a high-ranked offensive tackle in past draft classes but injuries have kind of sapped the hype. However, the Bengals are clearly in need of a swing tackle. After Trent Brown went down early in the season and then Orlando Brown Jr went down for three games, it became clear and obvious that Cody Ford ain’t it dog. Belton can be that guy.
5-149: Grey Zabel, OT/IOL, North Dakota State
I haven’t watched much of Zabel. But he accepted an invite to the Senior Bowl this week. So, I will see him up close in January. Zabel can be either a swing tackle or a potential future starter at guard.
6-186: O’Donnell Fortune, CB, South Carolina
Fortune was a late bloomer at South Carolina but he has really come on in 2024. He has great length and good recovery speed. Fortune can be CB4 as a rookie and help on special teams.
I will go back into my hole now.